How to Help Kids Get Ready for School Independently: Our Morning Routine

Sep 5

Sometimes it feels like the mornings before school can make or break you. Managing every moment of my kids’ morning routine was exhausting and frustrating—for everyone. Repeating myself and eventually losing my temper became routine but I hated it. Cut to now. My kids are now able to get ready for school about 99-100% on their own. They wake up on their own, get ready, do chores, pack their bags, and make and eat breakfast. It took us a few years to establish and refine this morning routine that works, but these are the things that helped my kids become more independent when getting ready for school.

Alarm Clocks Let Kids Wake Up on Their Own

I kid you not, as I was typing that subheading, I heard one of my kids’ alarm clocks go off. A couple years ago I bought my oldest (probably 3rd or 4th grade at that time) an extremely cheap digital alarm clock. We decided what time to set it to allow for a no-rush morning and this kid now faithfully gets up when it goes off (or snoozes once and then gets up). My younger wanted one too and now does the same. The only time I wake them up is if an alarm gets forgotten the night before (which happens) or I know we’ve had a late night and I tell them to not set their alarms so they can sleep longer and I wake them up later.

Morning Chart/Checklist for Kids

This helps my kids be independent because there is a visual reminder/checklist on the fridge of everything they are supposed to do in the morning. When I started doing this the list was longer because my kids needed every step spelled out: brush teeth, get dressed, lunchbox in backpack, fill a water bottle, empty the dishwasher, eat breakfast, jacket, socks/shoes. As the routine became automatic, I was able to remove things from the list. Now the chart has only two chores they each have to remember to do. Everything else is already on autopilot.

Morning Chores Build Independence

I was talking to another parent recently and they were shocked that my kids do any chores in the morning. They couldn’t imagine having their kids do chores when they were just struggling to get out of the house, clothed and breakfast eaten. This is not something I staunchly decided or had a huge philosophical moment about. The chores have grown as the kids have grown and it started because it was so helpful for me for the rest of the day to have the dishwasher empty first thing in the morning! My oldest has been emptying the dishwasher before school since about 3rd grade. This is two chores max right now. One kid opens all the window shades (we have a lot) and puts away dishes that were hand washed the night before. One kid empties the dishwasher and makes their bed. The chores take less than 10 minutes total for everything.

Getting Dressed and Brushing Teeth

This is always the first thing to be done. One kid faithfully sets out clothes the night before, the other doesn’t. That’s what works for them. First kid struggled for a long time with clothes that were comfortable (still wears socks inside out) and finding sensory friendly things and we realized early on that any clothing decisions that waited until morning were a disaster. The other kid picks an outfit in the moment and is on their way. Different kids, different routines.

Packing Backpacks and Lunches

I’ve always worked to have my kids pack their own backpacks. That way they know exactly where everything in their backpack is when they get to school. I don’t want someone else packing my purse or bag I’m taking for the day. And I still sometimes rattle off “lunchbox, water bottle, snack?” as a reminder but rarely does anyone forget anything. They had it on their charts for years and now this is normal. They take ownership and don’t want someone else doing this for them because it belongs to them. More recently, they’ve been packing their own lunches entirely but I’ll save that for another post.

A Simple Breakfast Kids Can Make Themselves

Becoming hands off with breakfast was probably the biggest game changer for me in this morning routine process. And part of that was me letting go of my expectations for what my kids made for themselves. My oldest now makes egg sometimes and my youngest sometimes makes kefir with granola and fruit but those are the most sophisticated breakfasts they make. We keep it extremely simple. Fruit, yogurt cups, cereal, toast, bagels. Those are the things on rotation at our house in the morning.

The Important Part: the Routine Isn’t Perfect

I have been adapting and refining this process for a few years. Absolutely none of this happened overnight. Some kids might be fine rolling out of bed and off to school. My kids do not respond well when they are rushed and they want some time before leaving the house to sit, zone out, listen to music.

We adapt. Sometimes we have a late night and I say “I’ll wake you up and tomorrow we’ll skip chores so you can get a little more sleep.” They are kids—sometimes they still need help. Sometimes they’re emotional or they fight or they can’t find something. This isn’t a utopian ideal. It’s a framework and routine we can rely on regularly but also one we can deviate from when we need to.

This isn’t a prescription. This is what works for us that we’ve figured out through a lot of trial and error. It’s also constantly evolving based on what we need as a family and more specifically, what I know my kids can developmentally handle without a full mental breakdown. The point is to make things easier and more peaceful while also enabling their independence.

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